A Counterfeit Revealed

A Miracle Moments Story: A Counterfeit Revealed

Why Spiritual Compatibility Matters in Love

The world of dating can be a vicious jungle or a twisted circus (depending on one’s horrific experiences). Dating usually consists of getting glammed up, to attract the partner you want. Once attracting them, later enduring a cut-throat breakup when you’ve realized this “soulmate” isn’t the one you want, after all. A decision often brought on by the epiphany that you’re far from compatible. The initial encounters have all been a complete lie, & now you are left feeling completely bamboozled.

In one of my dating attempts I remember meeting a guy I thought was perfect for me. I recall the day we met. I was waiting to meet a friend, at a beach style restaurant. It resembled a giant Tiki bar & gave off island vibes, with background reggae music. It even had a dance floor! On a sunny Saturday morning I had made plans to meet up with a longtime friend. I arrived about 15 minutes early and sat at a high-top table in the sand and waited. While I waited, I looked around the bar. I noticed two attractive men. Both were sitting at other tables and looking over intently. Flattered, I smiled at the one I favored.

The gentleman, (Let’s name him Mr. Hawaiian) later approached the table and asked if he could have a drink with us (as my friend had just arrived). We welcomed his company and enjoyed his conversation. A few minutes later Mr. Hawaiian’s longtime friend also joined us. Surprisingly, this friend was not at all a pleasant individual. In contrast, he was rude, obnoxious, and just off-putting. I couldn’t understand how these two men were ever friends at all… A red flag I totally missed! As the very true saying goes “show me your friends, and I’ll see who you are.” Before we left, Mr. Hawaiian asked for my number, with a request to take me on a date in the near future.

Two days later, I found myself preparing for an exciting dinner date. I got glammed up and met Mr. Hawaiian at an adorable Italian restaurant. The restaurant was dimly lit and played lively jazz music. It was a total sexy vibe. I have to admit, our first date was just delightful. We gushed; we laughed & had the most stimulating conversation the entire time. Feeling very excited about the potential of this new connection, I decided to check on my first “deal breaker.”

Deal breakers are directly linked to my core beliefs. “So, what is your faith?” I asked ..I know, it’s a deep question for a first date. However, talking spirituality can be very stimulating! (if done respectfully). I also believe that having similar faiths can lead to a very successful relationship. At least this is what I’ve observed while growing up. Therefore, having similar faiths, became one of my requirements, also known as a “deal-breaker.” After I asked the question, I was met with awkward silence. I watched him and waited for an answer, now feeling puzzled. He eventually responded, “That’s a weird question to ask.” I laughed thinking he was only joking, only to realize he was actually serious. I asked, “why is it weird?” He replied, “that’s not a question you should ask on a first date, it’s a silly question.” I remember responding “well it’s important to me” (Red flag #2…missed it again!). He hesitantly replied with “I’m a very spiritual person”. Oh good! I thought to myself, feeling somewhat satisfied. I smiled at him and then changed the “weird” subject.

Unfortunately, that feeling of satisfaction and relief was short lived. I remember later feeling very convicted and conflicted, as my inner thoughts kept telling me “He didn’t really answer the question.” Being “Spiritual” can mean anything. A belief in a whatever. So I decided that the next time I met him, I would just ask the question again. That next time became the very next day over brunch. Sunday afternoon after our first date, he called and invited me out to another cool date spot. I was excited to see him; yet I was worried that he was moving a little fast. But who doesn’t love an exciting whirlwind romance!?!

We met at Don Ramon’s, a Cuban restaurant that had a view which overlooked the ocean. Again, another blissful date. We laughed, we flirted and spoke about common interest such as travel & music. It was all great, until my conviction crept back in once again. “Ask the question” I heard my spirit say. Feeling very apprehensive, I asked ” so you may have answered this question already, but I’m not sure. What is your current faith again?” His response was somewhat defensive. He again made the statement about me asking a “strange” question & again refused to give a straightforward answer. He did however reveal that his faith was similar to that of Master Sri. “Who is that?” I thought. I looked it up later that night & discovered that Master Sri, is a well-known spiritual mentor who gives uplifting love and light messages. A type of Hindu spirituality that could be categorized as new age. I now felt very conflicted.

I wondered if being just spiritual was enough. Was I being too picky?!?… I was now considering compromising my first deal-breaker. I remember calling a close friend for her opinion, a friend who is also a Christian. Her response was “would God introduce you romantically to someone who wasn’t also Christian?” No, he wouldn’t. “But he’s so perfect!”, I disputed frustratingly. “We have so many similarities. He checks off everything on my list!!”…well almost. He tragically did not check off a major deal breaking requirement.

Later that evening (Monday), I received a message from him. He asked if I was interested in going to the beach to meditate. I mean, another perfect date idea!!! why is he so ALMOST perfect!!?!? I decided I did not want to waste his time. I also did not want to get myself completely immersed in a situation I knew would inevitably end.

I decided to send him a text, expressing my feelings (since I communicate better in writing). I expressed how I appreciated the two dates. I enjoyed getting to know him. However, I did not foresee it progressing into something on a deeper level because of our spiritual differences. I tried making light of it. I expressed that I thought he was an amazing person. He was almost everything I wanted in a potential partner. However, he lacked the most important thing. So rather than wasting his time (and his money), I needed to dissolve the connection. I sent the text (hesitantly) and waited. What I got in response had me in complete disbelief.

He responded with paragraphs on paragraphs of aggressive angry messages. Writing how dare I put him in a box of qualities to be checked. He wrote that I was strange, yet full of myself, and the texts just kept pouring in. I began responding with “I think you’re misunderstanding. It’s not personal” Then I heard my spirit stop me ‘delete it and don’t respond.’ I listened and later went to sleep feeling disappointed.

The next morning, I recall waking up wondering if I had made a mistake. He was initially such a nice guy with so many amazing qualities. Maybe I shouldn’t have decided so quickly. Maybe I was being choosy. I began feeling the morning-after regret. I picked up my phone, and noticed an early morning unread text from, Mr. Hawaiian. This message revealed his true character & showed me exactly what I had actually avoided.

The message was first a picture of his arm, with a giant tattoo. The tattoo was of an Ankh (a symbol representing Egyptian spirituality), followed by an emoji of a middle finger. I felt instant relief. He was indeed a bullet that I had so gratefully dodged. A pretty little deceptive bullet. As I watched this message, I envisioned a beautiful glittering jeweled mask being removing from his ugly rotting flesh face. An image that was the true representation of his character.

“Thank you, Lord!” I prayed. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!!” It was the exact confirmation I needed to have. I absolutely made the right decision! I deleted every single message and also blocked his number. The feeling of regret and uncertainty was now replaced with a feeling of absolute confident relief & peace!

I later realized that his form of dating was likely a form of love bombing. This is why he wanted to see me so frequently. He even wanted to plan a trip with me before even knowing my last name. In the end I avoided a relationship that could have potentially wrecked my spirituality and even my identity.

Being “evenly yoked” was a standard that in turn offered me protection from someone who was a total counterfeit. An impostor in personality, in character, and possibly in identity. It was all a complete charade. He was pretending to be a sweet loving funny guy but once rejected had turned into a hostile bitter person. So, with that said, hold on to those foundational standards. Have those deal-breakers, not in just relationships, but in all aspect of your life. If you don’t know them, I suggest you start by asking God what they should be. He is absolute love and will not steer you wrong. Think about it, pray about it, write it down, and moving forth, let that be your guide.

2 Corinthians 6:14

In the end, people will always have a way of revealing who they are. You just have to give them the space and time to do so.
No mask can be worn forever
–Morgan Olivier

Check out another one of my written blogs: Miracle Moments